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一个字母“S”拿下哈佛

王玲玲
2021-05-30 17:50:35
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金吉列第72届国际教育展

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留学费用计算器 算一算就知道

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考研留学两手抓,想不上岸都难

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第二外语选什么小语种吃香?

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什么样的顶级文书可以拿下藤校?

想要进入美国名校,不仅要有亮眼的标化成绩、出色的简历、优秀的活动和奖项,文书也是影响成败的关键因素,尤其在大家实力旗鼓相当的时候,一篇情感真挚、与众不同、体现自身个性和成长的文书,可以直接帮你敲开名校的大门。今天我们就来欣赏一篇在最难申请季拿下哈佛录取的顶级文书。    

文书全文

i hate the letter "s." of the 164,777 wors with "s," i only grapple with one. to conemn an entire letter because of its use 0.0006 percent of the time souns statistically absur, but that one case change 100 percent of my life. i use to have two parents, but now i have one, an the "s" in "parents" isn't going anywhere.

"s" follows me. i can't get through a ay without being remine that while my friens went out to inner with their parents, i ate with my parent. as i write this essay, there is a blue line uner the wor "parent" telling me to check my grammar; even grammarly assumes that i shoul have parents, but cancer oesn't listen to eit suggestions. i won't claim that my situation is as unique as one in 164,777, but it is still an exception to the rule — an outlier. the worl isn't meant for this special case.

the worl wouln't abanon "s" because of me, so i trie to abanon "s." i coul get away from "s" if i staye busy: you can't have inner with your "parent" ﹙thanks again grammarly﹚ if you are too busy to have family inner. any spare time that i ha, i fille. i became known as the "busy ki," the one that everyone always asks "how o you have time?" morning meetings, classes, afternoon meetings, volleyball practice, ance class, rehearsal in boston, homework, sleep, repeat.

though my specific scheule has change over time, the business has not. i couln't fill the loss that the "s" left in my life, but i coul at least make sure i in't have to think about it. there were so many things in my life. i couln't control, so i controlle what i coul. my scheule. i never succumbe to the stress of overcommitting. i thrive.

it became a challenge to juggle it all, but i' soon fin a rhythm. but rhythm, wasn't what i wante. rhythm may not have an "s," but "s" sure like to come by when i was ile. so, i ae another ball, an another, an another. soon i notice the same "color" balls kept falling into my hans – theatre, acaemics, politics. i wante to come into contact with these more an more, so i further narrowe the scope of my color wheel an increase the range of shaes of my primary colors.

life became easier to juggle, but, for the first time, i in't a another ball. i foun my rhythm an i embrace it. i stoppe running away from a single "s" an began chasing a ouble "s"— passion. passion has given me purpose. i was shackle to “s” as i trie to escape the confines of the traitional familial structure. no matter how far i ran, "s" staye behin me because i kept looking back. i've finally learnt to move forwar instea of away, an it's liberating.

"s" got me moving, but it hasn't kept me going. i wish i coul en here, triumphant an basking in my new inspiration, but life is more convolute. motivation is ouble ege swor: it keeps me moving forwar, but it also keeps me from having to look back. i want to claim that i showe courage in being able to turn from "s," but i can't.

motivation is what keeps "s" at bay. i am not perfectly heale, but i am perfect at navigating the best way to heal me. i on't seek out saness. so "s" must stay on the sielines, an until i am completely reay, motivation is more than enough for me.

- abigail mack,brockton high school, ma


凭借这篇在外网爆红的文书,18岁的阿比盖尔·麦克录取率仅有3.43%的最难申请季的哈佛offer,同时还有西北大学、圣母大学、达特茅斯和乔治城大学也发了offer,耶鲁大学和杜克大学也把阿比盖尔放入了waitlist。

12岁的阿比盖尔失去了“ s”,在她的世界里parents变成了parent,她的母亲朱莉·安妮(julie-ann)十几岁时就与癌症作斗争,但成年后这种疾病又复发了几次,并于2014年去世。

父亲成了她的一切,也是她最好的朋友,阿比盖尔今年18岁,是麻省brockton市立高中bhs的2021级毕业生。她一直都知道母亲的离世是她想在大学申请文书中谈论的事情,但她又很犹豫,怕别人说她卖惨,最终阿比盖尔说“但是我也不想只是回避它,因为它对于我的生活非常重要。”

阿比盖尔和她的英语老师一起努力重新编写了初稿。她说:“我只记得面对着一个空白文档,毫无头绪,但是突然之间,我想到了parents和parent之间的区别。” “然后我说‘我讨厌字母s’, 之后就有了这篇文章。”    

阿比盖尔在文中写道,当世界不放弃字母s时,她试图自己放弃。当朋友和父母一起吃晚饭时,阿比盖尔投入了各种各样的课外活动,使她没有时间去单独和父亲家庭聚餐,这也是避免面对s缺失的一种策略。

随着时间的流逝,戏剧、学术、政治成了她最有兴趣的三项活动。她对舞蹈和戏剧的热爱来自她已故的母亲,母亲生前开了一家舞蹈工作室,而父亲在母亲去世后仍在经营着工作室。在过去的一年中,对政治的热情让她参与到了现任总统乔·拜登的竞选活动中,并最终在参议员埃德·马基(e markey)的竞选连任活动中担任了研究员职位。


招生官和学校都更希望从个人陈述中看到的是一个个真实的故事和活生生的人,在强调学校背景、标化成绩这些硬条件之外,那些生活里的小事,也能成为细节动人的好故事,为同学们打开名校的大门。

怎样发掘自身,讲好属于自己的故事,也许才是我们要从阿比盖尔身上学习的地方,今天你学会了吗?

想了解更多美国本科的申请以及文书写作的要素,欢迎联系我!

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